But today’s post is more a curiosity thing. People feel compelled to tell me about their porn habits. I don't know why. What is it about me that says ”please tell me about whatever weird, perverse, or incredibly personal thing you like to watch to get yourself off ” ?
I had a blogging friend who loved to share with me her personal porn preferences. I’m pretty sure I never even hinted that I would like to hear about it. It started simple enough with her telling me about how much she enjoyed porn. My only response was that I didn’t. Then it escalated into her descriptions of how much she enjoyed double penetration porn. I ignored it. Then she followed with how much she loved gang bang porn. I replied that that was a very triggering thing for me and that I would appreciate not hearing any more about it. She replied that perhaps she had been less than sensitive, knowing my history, but she still continued with all these graphic explanations of how she got off on gang bang porn. I finally let the relationship die.
Then in another corresponding relationship, a woman began telling me how unhappy she was with her sex life. Okay, that is probably a fair topic in a conversation. I don’t know of anyone who is 100% happy all the time with their sex lives and I can listen and be sympathetic. But then a little more story - her husband could not get an erection with her. Hmm, okay, I am certainly no expert on the sexual dysfunction of males but I could listen. And then the other shoe dropped. Her husband could only get an erection with porn, which he watched constantly. And then I got to hear all about the kind of dominatrix porn he needed to get himself off. And that he loved wearing her lacy underwear and fish nets. And this man was a priest! Then it got worse and she offered to send me a video of them doing whatever it was they did together. WTF??? When I politely declined her response was “not even the lesbians want to see me naked.”
Yup, another relationship that bit the dust.
Does this happen to anyone else? Is it something I am giving off like a pheromone that says please tell me all your sex secrets?
Years ago when I was a church goer, a new pastor was hired. As a friendly gesture I invited her out to lunch. It was the first time we spent any time together, I was little more than a stranger to her, and she began to tell me that sometimes she got so horny she could hump a tree. And she loved to watch lesbian porn. How she managed to slip that in between “do you have any children” and “what’s the worse thing about being a pastor?” I do not know. But this seems to be my life.
I don’t consider myself a prude although I’m sure I am on the conservative side of sexual mores. And I really am happy to be a sympathetic ear for other people’s problems. But is it normal for people to just spill such lurid details of their sex lives? I used to think that these people were just a little on the needy side but this happens to me so often I am beginning to think it is something I am doing.
I am well aware of the male braggart who thinks he can change a lesbian into a straight woman by the power of his penis. Through this blog I have received horrible emails offering sexual trysts. This usually happens after I post something about the rape. Do people think that rape survivors have some buried, unfulfilled sexual desires? Maybe some different perspective that allows people to spill all their sexual frustration and problems on them?
Any opinions on this? Am I just being a prude? Why am I some pervert magnet? And I’m not saying that I think that people who watch porn are perverts. But there is something odd, I think, about wanting to share your masturbatory habits with someone who obviously does not want to hear about it.
Any thoughts? Advice? Help?