One step forward, two steps back

This year has not been particularly productive so far.

I had challenged myself to write at least one blog post every month.  Not that I have many interesting things to say, but more to document my personal journey through this strange thing we call life.  But here we are, past mid-March and I already failed.   This is February's entree.  Now I have to play catch-up.

I had gained a few too many pounds over the holidays and so promised myself to lose 1 pound a month.  One!  How hard could that be?  Instead, I gained 2 pounds in January and didn’t lose an ounce in February.   Yep, I wanted to lose 6 pounds, only 8 to go!

Every year I save seeds from my deck flower boxes to save hundreds of dollars for the next year's planting.  Mid-February I went to the basement to start the petunia seeds only to discover that mice had found them first.  

Last year I decided to move my veggie garden to an area that received more sun.  I reinstalled all the chain-link fencing and ran chicken wire along the bottom since critters decimated my garden last year.  Then this February, we had unseasonably warm weather so I decided to go rototill the garden to get a head start on this season’s prep.  But I ran the tiller into the chicken wire, thereby ripping it all off the fence and so badly wrapping it around the tiller tines that it took days (and many bloody knuckles) to get it all unwound. And now I have to reinstall it all.  Yay me!

Yet still excited about the warm weather to get a head start on yard work, I bought a replacement blade for my edger.  Then, installing it, I turned the bolt so hard that I broke the whole shaft. Now I need to buy a whole new edger.  

 

For all the anticipation that 60-degree weather in February brought, I think I’d have been better off hibernating until April. 

2024 Resolution

Last year I made a resolution to pay more attention to my relationship with Martha.  We have now been together for well over 30 years (!) and like most long term relationships, things had gotten into predictable patterns, both good and bad.  So I made a concerted effort to outwardly appreciate all she does to keep our household running and I bit the inside on my cheeks when she loaded the dishwasher in ways a drunk toddler could have done better, or once again left tissues in her pockets that shredded in a million pieces when I did the laundry.  I started each day with a cheerful smile and an encouraging word and ended each night with a show of appreciation and affection.

Did it make a difference?  To our relationship? Honestly, not really.  But it did have a profound effect on me.  Being more patient,  more grateful, and more aware definitely changed my overall demeanor.  Instead of letting little things nag at me, I let them go.  And I went to sleep thankful and content and woke up happy.   It is a practice I hope to continue, not for us, but for me.

Around xmas I began to think of what my 2024 resolution should be.  My daughters and I went to a performance of The Nutcracker by the Boston Ballet at the stunningly beautiful Boston Opera House.  While waiting for the performance to begin, I read the program about the company and cast.  In it, the Executive Director said this”

“The Nutcracker is not just what you see on stage - it’s about cherishing time with those you love”

And I thought “of course”, my resolution should be to extend this practice to everyone. Try to  Be Present.  Be Patient.  Be Quiet. Choose love, always.  To everyone.  For me.

So, that’s it.  Happy 2024*

*And exercise more, eat better and lose a few pounds : )