Sunday, April 18, 2010

Conversations from the Cell

I had read a meme where folks posted random texts from their cell phones. Looking at mine there were mostly boring entries - Can you pick up milk? Can you take Peachie to work? Confirmations that kids have arrived safely at their destinations. And other similar, mundane dialogue needed to run a household. And then there were the conversations with my 18 year old daughter -

****

Beanie: - Can you get hot chocolate out?

Me: Out of what?

Beanie: Matt’s underwear.

Me: How did you spill hot chocolate on Matt’s underwear?

Beanie: I forgot my shorts so I wore his boxers for gym.

Me: sorry I asked.

Beanie: me 2




****
Beanie: i hate getting my period. i wish i had a dick so i wouldn’t have to go through this.

Me: they do have operations if you want to make a switch.

Beanie: no, i would be way too fascinated with playing with myself. i’d never get anything done.

Me: sharing violation

****


Beanie: can you get grape jelly out?

Me: What’s it on?

Beanie: my crotch.

Me: No, I meant what kind of material?

Beanie: How would I know that?

Me: Never mind.

******

Beanie: I spilt juice all over my uniform

Me: now there’s a surprise

Beanie: I need it right after school

Me: come home at lunch, I’ll take care of it.


******

Beanie: how long do cook my lunch for? (I had packed her lasagna)

Me: try 3 minutes and see if it’d hot. I am worried you are about to go to college and still can’t figure this stuff out.

Beanie: Ha ha. i know. i worry too : )

*****
About 20 minutes later . . .


Beanie: can you get lasagna out of my white skirt?

Me: It’s what I live for.

Beanie: i love you too mom.


*****

I am going to miss her so much when she’s gone . . .

12 comments:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHAHH How'd you break into my phone??? LOL

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  2. Having shared meals with her I am laughing my ass off reading this.

    Gotta love her!

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  3. And there's my first laugh of the week - thank you!!

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  4. LOL!!! It sounds like Beanie needs a bib and a tide to go pen!

    I'm not one to talk though, I usually stain all my clothes with what I eat. LOL

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  5. lol, a good laugh for Monday morning!

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  6. She's probably going to miss you more!!!

    She can always switch to all black clothing so it doesn't show stains!

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  7. Beanie! She'll be texting you from college, I bet. I know my daughter still has those kinds of questions...

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  8. You'll still keep in touch with Beanie, except now her texts will be "How do I get chocolate/lasagna/grape jelly out?" Thanks for the laugh.

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  9. Seriously, you need to teach that girl how to do laundry before she goes!

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  10. I just read this entire post to the office. We haven't laughed like that in a long time... Thanks!

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  11. I had one child who could rival Beanie's eating accidents. :) It began when he was quite little! His drinking glass at the table was encrusted with whatever delicacy we were eating. In those days he had a bib....
    I would love your Beanie!!! What a wonderful girl and what a wicked sense of humour! I really really like people like Beanie. samm

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  12. thank you so much for your comment on my blog. everyone left such wonderful, supportive comments, and it meant so much to me. and then I clicked over here to you and this post made me laugh out loud ... multiple times!

    [for some reason writing that just made me think of having multiple o's. can you tell where my mind is? yup: in the gutter.]

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