I had read a meme where folks posted random texts from their cell phones. Looking at mine there were mostly boring entries - Can you pick up milk? Can you take Peachie to work? Confirmations that kids have arrived safely at their destinations. And other similar, mundane dialogue needed to run a household. And then there were the conversations with my 18 year old daughter -
****
Beanie: - Can you get hot chocolate out?
Me: Out of what?
Beanie: Matt’s underwear.
Me: How did you spill hot chocolate on Matt’s underwear?
Beanie: I forgot my shorts so I wore his boxers for gym.
Me: sorry I asked.
Beanie: me 2
****
Beanie: i hate getting my period. i wish i had a dick so i wouldn’t have to go through this.
Me: they do have operations if you want to make a switch.
Beanie: no, i would be way too fascinated with playing with myself. i’d never get anything done.
Me: sharing violation
****
Beanie: can you get grape jelly out?
Me: What’s it on?
Beanie: my crotch.
Me: No, I meant what kind of material?
Beanie: How would I know that?
Me: Never mind.
******
Beanie: I spilt juice all over my uniform
Me: now there’s a surprise
Beanie: I need it right after school
Me: come home at lunch, I’ll take care of it.
******
Beanie: how long do cook my lunch for? (I had packed her lasagna)
Me: try 3 minutes and see if it’d hot. I am worried you are about to go to college and still can’t figure this stuff out.
Beanie: Ha ha. i know. i worry too : )
*****
About 20 minutes later . . .
Beanie: can you get lasagna out of my white skirt?
Me: It’s what I live for.
Beanie: i love you too mom.
*****
I am going to miss her so much when she’s gone . . .
BAHAHAHAHAHAHH How'd you break into my phone??? LOL
ReplyDeleteHaving shared meals with her I am laughing my ass off reading this.
ReplyDeleteGotta love her!
And there's my first laugh of the week - thank you!!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! It sounds like Beanie needs a bib and a tide to go pen!
ReplyDeleteI'm not one to talk though, I usually stain all my clothes with what I eat. LOL
lol, a good laugh for Monday morning!
ReplyDeleteShe's probably going to miss you more!!!
ReplyDeleteShe can always switch to all black clothing so it doesn't show stains!
Beanie! She'll be texting you from college, I bet. I know my daughter still has those kinds of questions...
ReplyDeleteYou'll still keep in touch with Beanie, except now her texts will be "How do I get chocolate/lasagna/grape jelly out?" Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, you need to teach that girl how to do laundry before she goes!
ReplyDeleteI just read this entire post to the office. We haven't laughed like that in a long time... Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI had one child who could rival Beanie's eating accidents. :) It began when he was quite little! His drinking glass at the table was encrusted with whatever delicacy we were eating. In those days he had a bib....
ReplyDeleteI would love your Beanie!!! What a wonderful girl and what a wicked sense of humour! I really really like people like Beanie. samm
thank you so much for your comment on my blog. everyone left such wonderful, supportive comments, and it meant so much to me. and then I clicked over here to you and this post made me laugh out loud ... multiple times!
ReplyDelete[for some reason writing that just made me think of having multiple o's. can you tell where my mind is? yup: in the gutter.]