It has now been just about 3 months since my last reconstruction surgery and my commitment to get back into shape. This is my public report card to keep me accountable:
Weight - I have lost 10 pounds which puts me at the weight I was before all the surgeries. (you would think cutting off body parts would have reduced my weight, but it didn’t) I am now in a healthy range but I could stand to lose a few more pounds before the cooler weather sets in and I switch from berries to mashed potatoes. I am not really trying to diet but with Martha cutting out the carbs (she has lost 30 pounds) I am just naturally eating healthier.
Grade: A
Strength - I have been going to the gym fairly regularly and have surpassed the amount of weight I could lift even before all the surgeries. It helps that Beaner’s BF is a strength and conditioning coach and Peachie is an exercise science major. They keep giving me new things to try which has kept it fresh and interesting. I am still not what anyone would call “strong” - I still can’t open a jar, and a toddler could beat me in an arm wrestling match. But I am stronger than I ever was which is a good goal.
Grade: A-
Aerobic - Have I mentioned how much I hate doing the aerobic exercises? Boredom sets in and I wind up avoiding the machines. Peachie did suggest that I do 10 minutes on three different machines which has helped, and on those few mornings when it has not been too muggy I have managed to get out on my bike. It has been too hot to even walk the dog. This area needs a lot more work.
Grade: C
Bending/stretching - I still have not made it back to yoga. I don’t know why. My gym has a free class at a time I could easily go. And I have not even been stretching at home. I think this is mainly because Beaner’s BF is always around and who wants to have their butt waving around in downward dog while their daughter's BF is sitting behind them? Yeah, no one. Still, I am feeling so stiff I need to do something.
Grade: F
Spiritual - my trip into the mountains did wonders for my spiritual health. Plus, I am now spending a lot time in my flower and vegetable gardens which I love That’s all good. But I still haven’t done an ounce of volunteering. I am living in chaos at home and camp with various projects going on, and I am allowing the BF to get under my skin.
Grade: C
Emotional - I do not seem to be in good place these days. I am feeling fragile and moody. The word bitchy comes to mind. I am quick to frustration, especially with my youngest daughter who just seems to get on my last nerve, constantly. I am starting to think this may be tied to the estrogen killers I take. I am once again having wicked hot flashes and very restless sleep. Or maybe I feel the sadness of the anniversary of my beloved therapist Lauren. Either way, I have a string of medical appointments coming up and I have made an appointment with my new therapist. I need to straighten this out before someone in my family is charged with justifiable homicide.
Grade: D
So, except for my new muscle definition this is a pretty poor report. I am definitely out of balance. Some of the emotional things I don’t understand yet, but things like volunteering and being bendy is just laziness. It’s a weird thing when you KNOW what’s good for you but you don’t do it.
*sigh*
Anyone have any good motivational techniques?
It's hard for me to imagine you as bitchy. But hormones are very powerful chemicals and I would definitively talk to your doctor about it before the police are called in.
ReplyDeleteI am the wrong person to ask about motivation advice. I can't get anything going these days. But kudos to you for your return to strength. I think the other stuff will follow.
Ask Peachie. She thinks I'm the biggest bitch in the world right now. Which had nothing to do with her wearing my Berkies into the lake and ruining them, or blocking my car in AGAIN, or taking over the laundry room so that no one else can do their laundry. I didn't think I had a 'last straw' but she definitely found it
Delete.
But yes, I think I have far too many chemicals wreaking havoc in my body right now.
I don't think "lazy" is what you are. Going through a battle with cancer is like running a marathon. You are going to be exhausted at the end and you need to give yourself recovery time. It sounds to me like you are trying to rebuild every area of your life, all at the same time. Give yourself a break. It is enough for now to meditate on where you want to go from here. Give yourself time. Be gentle with yourself. I have no doubt you will get your balance back.
ReplyDeleteI don't disagree. But I do think it's time to back back up on the horse. Lazy does not become me.
DeleteI am very unbendy myself and avoid yoga at all costs. I noticed last week during my tennis marathon that I was winded and realized my cardio is not challenging me. So I need to kick it up a notch - but then you have the boredom and laziness that sets in for me at the gym. So I am going to search this weekend for some upbeat songs to put on my play list to help with the boredom of the machines. I think breaking it out and switching it up is a good idea. I think I might also take the fiesty Eleanor on a walk/run. Good for you on your report. I would drop the F and work on the D and C :)
ReplyDeleteI did a yoga class and loved it. I was amazed at how much better I felt. Which is why I find it odd that I seem to be avoiding going back. I think an upgrade to my playlist is an excellent idea. Time to get my summer groove on.
DeleteYou have a lot going on. Cut yourself a little slack. The fact that you are going to the gym and building your strength is good; the fact that you haven't murdered anyone yet is great!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to recommend more paddling on the lake. It should be good for upper body strength, if you really get going it'll contribute to aerobic conditioning, it's something that will take you away from everybody else so it's calming, and you can meditate by yourself in the middle of the lake and spend a little time in nature just breathing.
Also, for the hot flashes, Traci is using a natural product that was recommended by our doctor. It's called Remifemin. It contains black cohosh which even western medicine is confident reduces hot flashes and some other menopausal symptoms.
Hang in there, woman, and give yourself some credit! You have bitten off anyone's head yet!
I am just about to leave for the lake. While floating around the lake will give some much needed separation between me and my family, I don't think its going to do much for my general ennui and laziness. But maybe some great inspiration will come.
DeleteMy oncologist wasn't big on the black cohosh idea since I had an estrogen dependent cancer and the reports are mixed on its effect. Ideally I would like to get off all the meds I am now on. I think they are all contributing to my muscle and bone achiness and I am not at all convinced of their benefits. An apple and some Nutella every day, that's all I really need : )
i just want to say you are a good person and effort counts.
ReplyDeletea new therapist sounds good. & maybe a spiritual healer too (a barbara brennan type). that helped me a lot. i think it opened me up :^)
love
kj
Sounds like you are going to a gym and not just paying for it. One step ahead of most of us.
ReplyDeleteI joined jazzercise and feel much less like I'm being laughed at...and just dancing is the only way I will really make myself sweat. It changes up enough to remain interesting. And then they make me laugh cuz they do sit ups and weight lifting small stuff to the music. Like that needs a rhythm. ;-)