The Short Answers

Do you get along with your in-laws?

Martha's parents both died when she was very young so I don’t have in-laws.  She does, however, have a niece who she grew up with who is like a sister.  I have a great relationship with her, and her husband, her in-laws, her children, and now I also get to babysit her grandchildren.

Martha tells me that her father was a very bigoted man and would not have accepted our relationship.  But she also believes her mother’s ghost lived in her house, watching over her, until I moved in.  The ghost was then able to leave knowing that Martha was now well taken care of, so I guess I’m okay with her mom.   I think I could have won her father over.

Bonus points:  living with an orphan makes the holidays much easier.

Do you still have a relationship with Daphne’s mother?

As much as I don’t like the woman, I continue to try to leave that door open.  We are now joined together by a scholarship fund we created in Daphne’s memory, so that requires some communication.   I usually invite her to join me for lunch on those anniversaries when I go to visit Daphne’s grave.   Those lunches have been strained.    In the beginning I think we both just wanted information.  Now I think we both tolerate/need each other because we are the only living link each of us has to Daphne.  She still occasionally sends me an email asking about some aspect of Daphne’s life that she missed.   I try to filter out my negative feelings and tell her what she wants to know because I really can’t imagine the hell she must live in.    And in some sick way I have yet to unravel, I welcome her belligerence as a sort of just punishment because I have yet to forgive myself for what happened.

What is your favorite color?

Blue.  Particularly midnight blue.  And I love that cobalt blue of depression glass.

Your three worst and three best things right this moment

Worst, right now -

1. Peachie’s best friend - a girl I’ve known since she was 2 ½ and consider another daughter - is having major, scary surgery today.  And the worst is that she will be in the ICU for 3 days so I can’t even see her.  I am chewing my fingers off.

2.  A person I thought was a friend - turns out she isn't/wasn't much of a friend.  Always a very hard lesson for me.

3.  Today my sister and I start the process to take my brother to court over my mother’s estate.  The ugly is about to get uglier.  But at least an attorney will handle it.

Best, right now -

1.  I am totally savoring this window of improved physical, mental and spiritual health.

2.  I am sipping a cup of English tea while watching and listening to a torrential downpour.    And feeling so blessed to have a home, filled with love, where I always feel safe.

3.  My cats are head butting me for attention, my dog sitting here wagging her tail, Martha and my daughters are still snug in their beds, sleeping the sleep of angels.   My family (and extended family of friends)  - absolutely the best thing in my life.

What is you idea of a perfect dinner.

Dining outdoors, seaside,  with the smell of salt in the air, with someone I care about - good conversation, laughing a lot - white table linens, fresh flowers on the table - water with lemon, caesar salad (dressing on the side), grilled swordfish, grilled asparagus and tomatoes, warm rolls with herb butter.  My companion would order a glass of white wine which I would have a few small sips from.    Dessert is always so hard to narrow down but perhaps a good chocolate mousse or creme brulee.  And then an after dinner stroll where I would order a home made ice cream cone, probably some kind of mocha flavor.    Perfect.


And now on to the questions with long winded answers . . .