Updates

- I went to another therapy session yesterday, something I was dreading, but it was okay. The therapist made it seem like our bar adventure was a huge success, although it did not feel that way to me. (I am still obsessing over whether those two women made it home safely.) Therapist very clearly laid out how I could probably take the edge off some of the triggers I still deal with, but the fact remains that unless I am ready to let go of the pain, I will never conquer this. (thank you Doxy for that reference - I am now using the visualization “making my way to the reeds” - although right now it feels more like ‘lost in the reeds’ or ‘sinking in the swamp’.) And she has laid out the next couple of sessions for talking about guilt. Oh boy, that sounds like fun. Can’t wait.

- But the big news is that my secretary has returned to work. Yay! She had been out for almost 3 months so she tired out quickly and I brought her home early, but I actually had huge spans of time when my phone did not ring. Heaven. The best thing is how much her accident has changed our relationship. She hugs me every time I pick her up and when I bring her home. For twenty years we never touched, she was probably afraid that queer is contagious. And now we have become close, touchy feely friends. I can’t tell you how much that makes me smile.

- I don’t know if I mentioned it here but I have given up sugary snacks for Lent. I’m not really into the religious aspects of that but I thought it would be a good time for some much needed discipline - sugar being very much out of control in my life. And that is going good. Except that I now find myself putting 5 packets of Splenda in my tea.

- Beanie has now heard from all the colleges she applied to and was accepted at all. Which would be great except that she is so decisionally impaired. Secretly I have my favorite but am not saying a word. And I am muzzling Martha from putting any pressure on about her continuing to play basketball. I really want this to be her own decision based on whatever criteria she feels is important - which I think right now is the ratio of hot guys on campus.

- It is that weird period in-between sports seasons so the girls are home for dinner every night. I am enjoying them.

- And now, just when everyone is beginning to anticipate spring, we are about to get hit with three snow storms in a row.

- Life is strange lately, but it is good.