Friday, February 26, 2010

Little Women

Yesterday I drove home from work and couldn’t pull into my driveway for all the other cars. I went into the house and found Martha in the living room.

“What’s going on? Who’s here?”

“Jess’s boyfriend cheated on her.”

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t know, all the girls are in Peachie’s bedroom”

I knocked lightly on Peachie’s door and stuck my head in. There was Jess, Gianna, Carli, Liz and Peachie, all friends since they were 3 years old and went to pre-school together. There were wads of tissues all over the floor along with candy wrappers and everyone was on their cell phone. “You girls need anything?” Peachie gave me the sign that they had it covered.

I went back to the living room and to chat with Martha. Periodically someone came out of the room - “do you have more tissues?”, “a phonebook?”, “a hammer?” “ A hammer?” I asked. “Yep, she wants to smash the locket John gave her.”

At one point two of them came out and said they were going out to pick up more ice cream. More?

Later Peachie came out.

“What happened?”, I asked.

“Jess found out that not only did John cheat on her, but it has been going on for at least 8 months with three different girls!”

“Oh, boy. How is she doing”?

“Not good. We are going to drive her over to John’s so she can return his stuff”.

“You’re ALL going?”

“Yep. You f#ck with one of us you f#ck with us all.”

“Okay then. Be safe”

As they all left the house I was thinking about all the things these girls have been through together. All of each other’s birthday from little cake and ice cream parties to their Sweet 16s with buffets and DJs. Elementary school valentine angst and the drama of their first Middle School dance. The death of one girl’s parent and the unemployment of another. They have been there for each other through their athletic triumphs and failures, homework help, crushes, menstrual mishaps and clothing emergencies. When Peachie went to her boyfriend’s military ball last month they were all here. Four hours of hair and makeup help. And now, the inevitable heartaches.

There is something about female friendship. I am happy to see my daughters forming long lasting, healthy bonds. It makes me feel confident that even when I cannot be with them, they'll always have someone who's got their back.

I am reminded of this poem a friend sent me on a greeting card:

There’s nothing like my
women friends
launching straight into matters
of the
heart and soul
the moment
we’re alone.

We use
and wisdom
to cross entire
universes in moments,
always arriving back to where we
started - but never arriving home
completely the same.


  1. It's awesome that your daughters have that type of friendship in their lives. I didn't really build close friendships until my early 20's and the friendships I have now are very strong. In fact, I was so happy to have them there while going through my miscarriage a year ago.

    Thank you for sharing this story... I'm sorry to hear that your daughter was hurt but it sounds like she has a great support system!

  2. Not my daughter, 2 moms - her best friend - at least this time.

  3. I'm so happy that they have learned how to support their friends and have friends they can count on too.

    It took me years to learn how to be friends, and I still am not sure I'm good at it. Making friends I can do, keeping them, that's another thing altogether.

  4. Nothing bonds women together faster than a man (or woman) who has done them wrong.

    PS - Love the poem

  5. "You f#ck with one of us you f#ck with us all.”

    Glad to see you have taught them right.

  6. BOYS SUCK! Sorry, for a minute there I felt like I was in that room with them. Now I want ice cream...

  7. It's not just because I'm a lesbian that all of my best friends are women.

    There is nothing greater than lifelong friendships. I would be bereft without my two besties, Lisa and KA. Even though we don't live close, we ARE close.

    I'm so glad for those girls that they have each other.

  8. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when that smashed locket and other stuff was returned! Silly boy messing with those women...