Someone had asked me how we have been so successful and I had started to write this post about how we have managed to navigate this relationship for 25 years through crazy family issues, PTSD, having babies, counseling through the ‘I hate you’ times, sports, boyfriends, financial stresses, getting the girls to and through college, an empty nest and still managed to not only like each other but to keep the love alive and thriving.
We had gone away last weekend for some ‘us’ time and had planned a special dinner for last night. Instead, yesterday our town experienced a horrific quadruple homicide. Two of the victims were children aged 7 and 10, both were Martha’s students. She is, of course, devastated, as is our entire community. She, being a retired cop, was able to get more information than was being released to the media and we knew more of the gruesome details than most.
So instead of the romantic dinner, we spent the evening crying and hugging and praying and being grateful for still being able to hug our own children, and basically clinging to each other like life rafts through the night.
Today, I realized that this is what love is and what love does. This is how we have navigated our 25 years together. Our relationship has been far from perfect. We have had ugly fights and pushed each other to extreme frustration and I have taken more cooling off walks around the block than I care to think about. But we have been able to love and grow with each other for 25 years because we show up daily to help each other on our journeys - not just the fun and sexy times but when the journey gets hard. Painfully hard.
Love shows up.