A while back a friend invited me to join her at an estate sale. I had been to one years ago where rooms of beautiful antique furniture were on display and for sale. Being a lover of old-fashioned wood craftsmanship, I happily agreed to go.
We drove for about an hour as the landscape became more and more rural and eventually wound up at a small, deteriorating farmhouse. I thought perhaps I was going to be treated to displays of handmade rustic furniture but instead walked into rooms that all look like this:
Every room contained card tables of odd bric-a-brac, a collection of memories for whoever had lived in this house. The bedroom closets still had clothes hanging (for sale) as if the occupants had just stepped out for a moment. Everything else from cabinets to drawers, had been scooped up and randomly piled on these makeshift tables throughout the house.
I got so unnerved that I had to leave and wait in the car. I felt that all these people who had come to the sale were stampeding like bulls in a very personal china shop. And I hoped that whoever had lived here had been able to leave a more enduring legacy than tables of knickknacks and kitchenware.
My spouse cannot throw away anything. Our small house is overflowing with “stuff”, much to my consternation. I assume her clutter tendencies are from being orphaned at a very young age and having an emotional need to hang onto things. I, on the other hand, once lost literally everything I owned as a young adult and learned the downside of too much attachment to things. Now I own very few things that I don’t have a daily use for. Except for clothing, musical instruments and some books (which I have weeded down to just classics and collectibles), all my stuff could probably fit in one box.
As we age together, I keep thinking back to that estate sale and wonder what will happen to all the stuff in our house. I have talked to Martha about not leaving the burden of disposing of the contents to our daughters who have emphatically said they do not want 99% of it. She nods and agrees yet still can’t part with any of it. And I keep walking around imagining card tables in every room, piled high with her stuff, and strangers pawing over them, looking for some prized knickknack that their kids will have to dispose of.
This is a good reminder to get rid of things. I struggle, like Martha probably, and I'm quite sure it comes from a very painful and needy place deep, deep down.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you have moved at least once which probably forced you to weed out some things. We live in her childhood home so it's been accumulating since she was five!!
DeleteAs it appears clear my kids don't want my stuff, even their own memorabilia, I am slowly and surely working my way to purge most. Thankfully due to a teeny tiny apartment and having lost stuff over many moves--not that much tangible stuff remains.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, our house is pretty small too, but oh, all those nooks and crannies . . . : )
DeleteI've been to estate sales like that and yes, they are sad and depressing. I have been working diligently to reduce the superfluous treasures (junk) from my house and life. I hope the kid appreciates it!
ReplyDeletee
My mom, who was pretty spartan to begin with, had distributed almost everything we wanted and had emptied the entire attic and basement before she passed. It was a huge gift and blessing for us.
Deleteoh boy, this is familiar! my daughter wants very little of our 'stuff' also. I'll be in touch. xoxo
Deletehi 8 xo, I hope this comment publishes. Blogger is stubborn these days. I'm not even sure I know how to navigate correcting that!
ReplyDeleteI think about my possessions in terms of my daughter Jessica shaking her head from needless clutter. I envy how little you need. I'm sure that's me too but I need declutter time. For one, I'm waiting for a solid rainy day to clear out my filing cabinet. It's sad: seeing a life spread onto tables and counters. My Mother's house was filled with her special memories. Some I cherish now; some I regret yard-selling (her china cups), and some, I was happy to dump. I do believe that an organized space is spiritually uplifting! love love kj
This anonymous comment is me, kj. jeez.
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