The Hard Work of Aging

I have a very fitness conscience daughter.   She sends me daily emails about healthy aging  because she loves me and wants me to be healthy.  (And she wants me to live independently and not with her when I’m older).  I enjoy the little inspirational quotes and the advice on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  They come daily with different writers giving  different advice. But it just dawned on me that this is stuff they recommend you do every single day.  Every. Single. Day.  All of it. So I put together this summary list of recommendations from just the last two weeks to get a sense of what a day should look like:

• 10 to 15 minute of meditation
• a 5 to 10 minute inversion poses
• 30 minute aerobic exercise
• 8 to 10 hours sleep
• laugh
• weight lifting
• volunteer and give back
• balance exercises
• yoga and flexibility exercises
• brain games
• social interaction
• 200 orgasms a year
• practice daily gratitude

I am assuming that this advice is targeted for folks who have fully retired and have at least 60 hours a day to accomplish all these essential tasks to guarantee those healthy golden years.  Because I don’t know about you, but if I do attempt a 10 minute inversion pose, it is going to take me at least 20 minutes to get back up off the floor and another 30 minutes to complain about it.

And notice there is no time built in for personal hygiene or even eating.  Although there are a significant amount of emails about eating healthy and detox diets and the importance of green smoothies.  I guess you squeeze those in between the 6 hours needed at the gym and collecting canned goods for the food drive.

200 orgasms a year?  This is obviously not a daily task but if you do the math, that is 4 orgasms a week.  Maybe I could do that when I was 20.   Maybe.  (My memory is a little faulty and I obviously need more brain games.)   I know a woman who complains that sex with her husband only lasts 7 minutes.  (She times it!)   If sex lasted only 7 minutes for us then maybe I would have time for sex 4 times a week, maybe in between dinner with friends and yoga class.  But for us, sex requires a lot of time.  A lot. These days we need to be well rested to begin with (otherwise we just fall asleep before anything really gets going) , and then there’s all that “wait my leg is getting a cramp”  and “remember to be careful of my shoulder” stuff.   All the work-arounds and modifications require time.  Sometimes we need to take a break in the middle and just rest awhile.  And then we need a lot of sleep afterward so we don’t start anything if we need to be up early.  

*Sigh*

I am not finding this aging thing easy.  Not easy on the body and not easy on the spirit.   But, as people say, it is better than the alternative.  Truth be told,  I am very grateful to wake up in the morning.   And when the doctor gives me clearance, I will joyfully (with some a lot of complaining) try to fulfill the advice of my daily email and walk and lift and bend and stretch and give and make love and think and play.   But I may have to give up my part time work hours to fit it all in.  Aging healthy is very, very hard work.  I need a nap just thinking about it.