My daughters watch MTV. Jersey Shore, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom. I used to block the channel but they are now 17 and 19 and can make their own decisions if they want to waste their time with such puerile, worthless crap. Not that I’m judging.
Anyway, yesterday Beanie and I had this conversation:
Beanie: Wouldn’t you want to be on a reality show?
Beanie: You could make a lot of money.
Me: I never wanted to make a lot of money.
Beanie: Wouldn’t it be fun to be famous?
Me: Is this going somewhere?
Beanie: MTV is looking to do a show about kids with gay parents.
Me: (laughing) and you l think they would want us on their show?
Beanie: I already sent them information and now they want more.
Me: staring at her in disbelief, “What????”
So she told me she had sent them preliminary info and this is some of the email they sent her:
Your family’s unique situation has certainly caught our attention, and I would love to chat with you in regards to a new family docu-series that is currently in development.
The next step in our casting process would be for us to have a phone conversation discussing your interest, and then for your family to send in a personal video-self submission.
At your earliest convenience, please include the below information:
· Individual descriptions and pictures of each family member. Please include their personality and what role they fulfill in the home (Mom, Dad, Sister, Son, Grandma, etc). Is one the Drama Queen and the other the Peace Maker? Do they have quirks or talents? We want to hear it all! The sooner we receive these materials, the faster the casting process will be.
· Any video footage and home videos of your family! This would supplement a self-submission required for our show.
In order for my producers to consider your family for the show, we do require the above pictures and descriptions as soon as possible.
I would love to hear more about you and your family!
I have, of course, said absolutely not. I went on about how MTV would find our family life pretty boring. Look, there’s mom washing the kitchen floor. Here’s your other mom mowing the lawn. There’s the girls, glued to their laptops, stalking people on Facebook. Our family is not exactly high ratings material. Very routine. No drama. That is our reality.
Strangely however, the MTV letter has no mention of kids having parental consent to do this. I wonder how many kids are already uploading those embarrassing family videos as we speak, hoping to become the next Snooki.
Afterwards though I did wonder how our daughters would describe our family - their perception of our “personalities and roles, quirks and talents”.
Maybe it’s best not to know.