Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Good Ol' Boys Club

On Christmas eve, Martha’s niece J. had something slipped into her drink, didn’t feel well and went up to her apartment over the bar. She woke hours later to find herself naked, her sheets wet with semen, and all her money and jewelry stolen. She called Martha who is a retired cop. Martha told her to call the police and she would meet her.

The male State Trooper who met them took down the basic information and then started with questions like “what were you doing in the bar?” “How much did you have to drink?” “What were you wearing?” etc. Martha went ballistic. The trooper said he would go down to the bar and ask some questions, but he was obviously annoyed that his Christmas was about to be interrupted. Martha left to take J. to the hospital for a rape test. That came back negative although a sexual assault had obviously taken place.

The trooper got the security camera tape which showed J. going upstairs. Then a man going up. And shortly after, that man comes down and asks his buddies to go up. From this, the trooper found the man and questioned him. The guy didn’t deny he went up to J’s apartment but said the sex was consensual. On Christmas night the trooper calls J. and says there is nothing he can do - it is just her word against the guy. And Martha once again went ballistic, made a few calls and had this guy removed from the case.

Meanwhile the bar guy calls J. and mocks her saying that he knows all the troopers and no one is going to believe her, and she should just let it drop because, after all, didn’t they just have a good time. Martha immediately called the new investigator and asked him to get an order of protection. He called back to say the judge would not issue one. Martha then called a female judge she knows and got the order. Although, as she says, a piece of paper is no protection at all if someone wants to hurt you. But she is hoping that it will stop the guy from calling J and further harassing her. She has also arranged for DNA testing and insured that J’s blood sample will be tested for evidence of whatever drug has given to her.

At the beginning of this, Martha was not telling me much because she knew how much it would upset me. But it has been tough not to overhear her conversations with the police, the investigator, and J. What amazes me is how little things have changed. It is just so wrong that a young woman would be questioned as to what she was wearing at the bar, as if she provoked a sexual assault. Or that a police officer would just write off the case as “the guy said it was consensual so there’s nothing else I can do.” Or a judge wouldn’t issue an order of protection.

I don’t remember much of the immediate aftermath of my attack, but I do remember some officer who was questioning me saying “well what did you expect?”

What did I expect? I think I expected that things would be better by now.


  1. I expect that things will be better now too, and I am continually disheartened to find otherwise. Disheartened and furious. Red, raging, ballistically furious.

    Thank God Martha is involved. Most women don't have a former cop in their lives to go to bat for them. Most women would have no idea what steps to take in the aftermath of rape. We are at the mercy of 'the system' and bitter experience assures us of how that works.

    I hope you are as ok as possible during this, 8d. As if 2010 wasn't a hard enough year, to end with this happening is like a cosmic slap in the face. Keep breathing and keep moving. I am praying for you and the niece. And for all of us.

  2. I am sickened by this story and continue to pray for your niece,
    and prayers for all women who indure not only the attack but the horrendous treatment afterward.

    Every woman should have a Martha to advocate for them.

  3. ugh...this is awful. I'm so sorry. That's about all I can say, there really aren't any words for this situation. Thank goodness Martha is there and is helping her deal with it.

  4. Can I tell how how very glad I am that J has Martha (and you) to help fight for her?

    It's a light in a very, very dark place.

    Consensual. And he's saying she consented to all his buddies too?


  5. I can't put into words how this story angers me.

    I'm a survivor of sexual assault myself, and it's absolutely infuriating when no one believes you when you tell people what happened. It's like on top of the horrible experience, people are basically calling you a liar, which is no help whatsoever.

    God be with J. through this whole thing. Can you tell her that people out here are praying for her and DO believe her?

  6. PS: I second the "Mother Fucker" comment. And third and fourth it.

    Fecking bastard cop.