I am throwing this question out into my blogging world in hopes of getting some feedback on this dilemma.
Many, many years ago my sister happened to say to me “wow, two daughters. That’s two weddings you’ll have to pay for.” Our girls were babies at the time but as the fiscally responsible parent I started savings accounts, earmarked for weddings.
My daughters are now in their early 20s and both have serious boyfriends. I have been able to save a substantial amount for each of them and they have each been told that there will be a tidy sum they can use for their weddings, honeymoon, a down payment on a house, or a nice nest egg should they choose not to marry.
We do not like Beaner’s boyfriend. Well that is not entirely true. We like him. He
s gentle and treats her well. But he often forgets commitments and stands her up. And it is quite obvious to everyone, except Beaner, that this is not a healthy relationship. It is very out of balance with him being a needy little boy in need of a mother rather than being a life partner. My daughter, do-gooder that she is, may not mind taking constant care of him now, but we are quite sure that it will get old very fast.
And so here is the dilemma:
Should she choose to marry this man (and we sincerely hope she won’t but she is always talking about it) do I still give all this money, knowing (okay assuming) that it will not last long? To me it seems like throwing 20 years of savings away, or blessing a marriage that is not healthy. But on the other hand, I don’t think its right to say that such a gift has strings.
What say you?