Friday, October 4, 2013

My Life in General

Someone pointed out to me that I have written very little recently, except for tidbits in my Full of Grace posts, about my life, my kids, my work, Martha, therapy, life in general.   So here it is - My Life in General - for anyone interested in the minutia of my life.

I am still sitting with sadness, although I have been too busy to pay much attention.  Much of this busyness is due to helping my secretary travel back and forth to visit her ill daughter and now helping with the final funeral arrangements for this weekend.  This is a very dysfunctional family with absolutely no money.   So I have been doing a lot of fundraising and ride giving and hand holding. Today I have to pick up some meat and fruit platters and some balloons, and then I am done.   I hate to sound uncaring but this process has exhausted me.    Everyone has great ideas but they offer very little in execution.

The good news is that both my daughters (and one boyfriend) are coming home this weekend for apple picking, pumpkin carving and costume making.   Martha is making a big roast beef dinner and apple pie.  Peachie is going to be the Little Mermaid for Halloween and her boyfriend has grudgingly agreed to be Prince Eric.  Beanie is going as a beer can (of course)  Funny that my girls on in college and I am still making their costumes.  But I love this mom stuff.  It is the best tonic I could ask for.

My work has gotten busy again with the upturn in the economy.  But I like to be busy. Lots of new projects coming in I can sink my teeth (and red pen) into.  And lots of time outside looking at sites. I continue to look forward to each day and each challenge.  Still, I am now seriously considering retiring. Perhaps in the spring.  

Martha and I are about to celebrate 24 years together.  Well, I say celebrate but I really mean we will pass that mark on the calendar.  My non-romantic partner will probably forget especially without the hint she always got when my mother would send an anniversary card.   Not to complain though - we are still very happy together - even though we drive each other nuts on a daily basis.

Martha continues to work with special needs kids, which she loves.  And the basketball league that she runs has just started up and will take most of her free time thru February. It makes her very happy and keeps her out of my hair.

Beanie is now a senior in college (what?) and is currently applying to grad schools.  She wants to be a forensic psychologist, whatever that is.   There are only 7 schools in the country that have the mix of studies she wants.  My guess is that she will end up either in Boston or Florida, even though the top ranked school for her program is 8 miles down the street.  She continues to live life out loud, but always makes me very proud with her volunteer work for Ronald McDonald House and St. Judes. Oh, and she has a new boyfriend.  I don’t think I wrote about it here, but last year she went through a tough time with an emotionally abusive boyfriend which then turned physical. It was a mess but she seems happy now.

Peachie is a junior studying athletic training and nutrition.  We all hate her and her perfect lean body, 6 pack abs and her “oh, I’ll just have a salad”  attitude.   We think she was adopted.    We love her boyfriend who cooks and makes balloon animals for her.   She also volunteers for the Special Olympics and the Wounded Warrior project and is thinking about working with people who need prosthetics.   She would be good at that.

I continue to go to therapy but not as frequently.  I have stayed with a therapist who does not specialize in trauma, but I think her more broad based approach has been good for me.  I also occasionally go to a group therapy session for folks with PTSD, something I always thought I’d hate and therefore rejected.   But listening to people who have PTSD from different kinds of trauma - World Trade center, military service, childhood sexual abuse - has also given me a better understanding of how the disease works and can be controlled.  I have my moments but generally feel stronger than ever.

Health wise, I am feeling good. Tired, very tired. But that is more a product of this last 6 weeks of crazy than any health issue.   In fact, I have taken today off from work just to laze around and prepare for the wake and then the onslaught of children this weekend. I am having some issues with bone loss and joint pain from the estrogen killing meds I am taking but that is my only complaint.  I am still weighing the cost and benefits of these meds.

I have not gotten out into the woods nearly as much as I’d like, mostly because the joint pain has precluded any serious hiking.   I think my backpacking days are going to have to morph into something a little more gentle, or aided, or something.  Days hikes from a centralized camp perhaps. One of my favorite places in the mountains has a lake and I often see people come in by seaplane. That could be my answer - fly in and then just camp under the stars.    I need to be out in the wilderness to keep my spiritual side in balance.   I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.

Other than that I continue to do my volunteer stuff which gives me great pleasure,  do a little gardening and woodworking to keep my head sane, I am being drawn back into some political stuff because, wow, things have really gotten crazy out there, and generally try to enjoy whatever each day brings.     

My life, in a nutshell.


  1. This explains why I haven't heard much from you lately. Hugs to G.

    Enjoy your well deserved weekend with the girls. And save a piece of pie for me.

    PS - seaplanes??? tsk. You will hike in until you have no legs left!

  2. A full and balanced life... ok, maybe a little over full.

    Love the seaplane idea! Pretty soon you'll be pulling a vintage travel trailer to the wilderness and doing day hikes. Despite what Ren says! Oh, the comfort of a real bed in the wilderness!!! Now that's spiritual!


    1. The problem is that you are still sleeping near people in a campground and I need to be AWAY from people. Maybe I could bring the bed on the seaplane. . .

  3. I too have found there are a lot more people with grand ideas than people willing to execute them. The doers need to remember to do some self care and get some rest.

    Your weekend sounds glorious. Enjoy those superstar daughters of yours.

    1. Thank you and I did. They were exactly what I needed.

  4. Thank you for this. It is nice to get a picture of your whole and beautiful life. Your daughters are amazing! No wonder you are so proud. I do hope that the busyness settles down and that you feel well enough again to hike.

    Have a great weekend!

    1. My calendar is looking very reasonable for the next few weeks and I do hope to get up to the mountains soon. It is my favorite time of year to be out there.

  5. This is wonderful - thank you for the update. I LOVE how the center is still your girls and Martha and I am struck by what a generous person you must be to have raised such generous and caring daughters.

    We hiked a few weekends ago in the Catskills and I see SO many more weekend trips for us in the coming years; we all loved it. Absolutely loved it. And because I'm a dreamer, I already looked at buying a cabin there...

    1. Yes, my center is definitely my family. They keep me very grounded. My mother taught me that service is the best cure for self pity and that you always receive much more than you give. I am thrilled that my daughters feel this too.

      I used to live close to the Catskills. They are a little more gentle than the Adirondacks and I used to do a lot of x country skiing there. Really stunning this time of year.

      And I am so happy when parents gets their kids outside into the magnificence of nature. I fear kids are losing that all important connection.

  6. Embrace the days; motherhood, friendship, partnership . . love.

  7. Absolutely! Life is very, very good!