So Martha asked me to marry her. It was not a romantic proposal -
Her: “Do you want to get married when the girls are done with college?”
Me: “Yes. It makes a lot of financial sense.”
But then came the inevitable - having to plan for a wedding.
First the date. This was easier than expected. We have to wait until next year so we don’t lose the financial benefit of my income not being included in college financial aid. So we picked next year on October 8th. It will be the anniversary of our quietly going to the beach, exchanging rings and making a commitment to each other. The 25th anniversary of that date. Alright, so that’s a little romantic, right?
But then it starts to get complicated -
Her: So, what do you imagine this wedding will look like?
Me: I don’t know, something simple at home, or on the beach. Maybe include just the girls?
Her: Sounds good. But . . . . don’t you think your sister should be there?
Me: And maybe your niece?
Her: And our closest friends?
Me: Okay. But absolutely no gifts.
Her: Well, if we’re going to start inviting people we probably need a place to do it. And then some kind of reception.
Me: Really? Do we have to be that fancy? Can’t we just keep it simple.
Her: Okay. But if we are inviting any people we need to do something afterward.
Me: Okay. But if we do that, what are we going to wear?
Her: Right. Forget that. Something simple, just the girls. On the beach.
Me: Maybe a destination beach. Make it a family vacation.
Her: That sounds nice.
Me: Do you really think my sister will be hurt?
Her: Yup.
Me: Okay, just my sister and your niece.
Her: What about their families?
Me: Crap.
The world goes round and around and around. And so does this conversation. I imagine that at some point we will just say “screw it, we’ve been living like this for 25 years, we don’t need any formal recognition.”
And then someone will say “ yeah, but if something happens to one of us, it’s good to have that financial protection.”
And we keep going round and round.
Perhaps I should start a betting pool. Will we or won’t we? Care to place your bets?
Well, as you know, I wanted a small, simple wedding on a mountain top and got married at a huge formal affair with 150 guests. That's what happens when you marry a woman from a big family.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you two will figure out something that feels right. I am betting on it.
And no pressure or anything, but I best be invited : )
I am often amazed that people still marry after all the stress of planning a wedding. Many weddings have become competitive and out of control.
ReplyDeleteWhatever your plans turn out to be, small and simple or large and formal, it's all about the love.
I will place my bet on your 25 years of love.
(Have you thought about who will perform the ceremony? : )
You will and you'll figure it out. It will be simply formal, tastefully executed. On a beach. Wherever, however, it will be icing on the cake (or something like that. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat about at the Lake? Small, informal, family and ren, no fuss, no fancy dresses... I'm sure your lake house is usually closed up by October, but ahem, you have the keys!
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents. Disney would also work!