Friday, June 20, 2014

A Golden Glowing



"The mountains are calling and I must go."  
-John Muir


Oh, how I know this feeling!  And finally, finally I went.  

The weather was gorgeous. The forest still lush and damp from recent rains.  The critters were out and about with their young.   The birds were particularly joyful.  The vistas breathtaking.   The starry nighttime sky cloudless.  

I am now home.  My back is so sore I am walking bent over.   My left foot, which was once smashed and now has considerable arthritis, is swollen to almost twice its normal size.   My blisters have blisters and are still filling with fluid.  My knees are screaming.  It is difficult to walk.   I have so many bug bites that I’m surprised I have any blood left.  And I have bites in places that only very intimate relations have ever seen.  I am desperate to scratch.    Martha is calling me Igor because this is pretty close to how I look:

igor.jpg


And yes I am smiling just like that!  I feel exhilarated!  I am giddy with both energy and calm.

I am never more alive than when I am surrounded by and interacting with nature.   I never feel as connected with the awesome energy of the universe as when I lay under a canopy of stars.   It is both humbling and empowering.  My soul soars.

This time I had something to prove to myself - that I have successfully overcome cancer and all the meds and surgeries and treatments I have endured these last couple of years.   I needed to prove that I am stronger than they are.   I trained hard for this trek and I conquered it.  Physically I am exhausted, but I will recover.   Mentally I am higher than the mountain I climbed.  


But it’s all still there in my heart and soul. The walk, the hills, the sky, the solitary pain and pleasure—they will grow larger, sweeter, lovelier in the days to come, like a treasure found and then, voluntarily, surrendered. Returned to the mountains with my blessing. It leaves a golden glowing on the mind.”


I am tired but I am glowing.

17 comments:

  1. This is the best post ever!

    Conquered indeed. Congratulations, my friend. I knew you could do it, with your core of iron there is virtually nothing you can't do once you set your mind to it.

    Igor. (Snort)
    xoxoxoxo

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  2. A core of iron, maybe. But what I really need is a back of steel : )

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  3. Fuck cancer. You win !!!!

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  4. I am jumping (in my head and heart) up and down in gleeful exuberance for your accomplishment and your soaring. Yay You.

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    1. Thanks! Your exuberance makes me smile.

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  5. You are stronger than all of that. Yes!
    Benedicto: May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you -- beyond that next turning of the canyon walls.
    (And other than the dangerous part, I agree with Mr. Abbey, whose Benedicto that is.

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    1. I do believe I have been to some of these places : )

      But yes. This is it. Exactly.

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  6. Even though your body is sore, your joy leaps from the page!

    To spend time fueling your soul and communing with nature, there is no better way to nourish and illuminate the divinity within you.

    Congratulations on your accomplishment! I hope the golden glow stays with you for a long, long time.

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    1. I am feeling leaping joy! And healthy enough to start making this more a part of my routine.

      Life is good.

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  7. this is most wonderful. congratulations, my friend. so now you know: go forth and get in some trouble :^)

    love
    kj

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    1. This made me laugh! Although I then realized that I never get in trouble. I am such a pathetic rule follower. Obviously I need to work on this. Adding "get in trouble" to the list : )

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  8. I love that feeing - nature is healing even when it leaves you sore and itchy.

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    1. And for some reason - the more sore, the greater the joy. I suppose because you've worked for it.

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  9. Replies
    1. Thanks! I am almost upright today! Still limping and whimpering, but up!

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  10. Oh I'm SO glad you enjoyed! I was wondering if you had gotten to go...seems like you had a beautiful weekend for it! Feeling connected is so important.

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