My daughters are 18 months apart in age, and they were only one year apart in school. This worked out great when they were young as they always had each other to play with. But as they got older we realized how we never got a break from age related festivities. One year the oldest was invited to bar and bat mitzvahs and then the next year, the youngest. We only had one quinceanera invitation so we were lucky there, and then came a couple of years of sweet 16 parties. Of course, we just had to buy presents for these.
But then came the invites that included us. A couple of years of sports’ banquets and high school graduations, with a brief pause before the college graduations started up. It seemed like all I was doing was buying presents, agonizing about what to wear and wandering aimlessly at parties trying to avoid people, praying for it to be over soon.
Then a lovely lull. The kids and their friends were moving out and establishing their careers. They were having their own parties where parents were definitely not invited
And then Covid.
Not discounting all the loss and hardship and the isolation that quarantine caused, it was an easy time for an introvert like me. No invitations. No obligations. No awkward trying to make small talk with people I hardly knew. Nirvana.
But almost all my daughter’s friends had gotten engaged prior to Covid and everyone was forced to postpone engagement parties, showers, and weddings. Multiple times. Until now.
We have now received 7 wedding invites, 6 wedding showers, 1 baby shower and 2 housewarmings. And we know more are coming. And this introvert is starting to panic.
The first is the worst. This weekend we will be driving 5 hours away to attend a baby shower that Peachie’s mother-in-law is throwing for that side of the family. The side where I know no one. Where I can’t bring my own car to escape early. Stuck hundreds of miles from home. Anxiety on steroids.
I once worked for years at overcoming trauma related anxiety. I know, intellectually, what to do and how to manage it. But I have never had great social skills to begin with and like the rest of my body, those skills have atrophied.
Martha does remind me how lucky we are to not only have great relationships with our daughters but also with their friends. And I agree. But this just feels like too much, too soon.
Wish me luck. The struggle is real.
