Saturday, February 1, 2014

Morphing

I had the first of my reconstruction surgeries on Thursday.   Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers.

The surgery itself went well, although I did have some triggering problems coming out of anesthesia.   I was supposed to be in recovery for about an hour.  I was there for 3 hours.  But the staff was wonderful and Martha was patient, and the lingering anxiety has dissipated.

Just for the record, this is what my chest looked like before surgery.  I don't think I would have considered reconstruction if my chest was flat.  But all the lumps and bumps and concave areas made it really hard to wear most clothing.



This is what I came home looking like.  At first I thought, wow, I really don't need to be any bigger than that, I'll be done with the stretching in no time.  Unfortunately though, this is mostly bandages.



Today I was able to take the bandages off.  Well, Martha did.  I have already fainted twice looking at this mess.   The expanders have been inserted through my existing scars and some fluid added to them. It doesn't show well in the picture but all that redness is bruising and it feels like an elephant stepped on my chest.  But overall, not too bad and I am already pleased with the reduction of weirdness.



After this, I will go every week of so to have more fluid inserted to continue to stretch the skin and muscle until a pocket the size I would like to be is formed.  Then I will have another surgery to remove the expanders and replace them with the permanent implants.  

I hemmed and hawed about doing this for almost two years. I have tried socks in a bra, prosthetic boobs, and just going without.  But the bottom line is this - I had a very aggressive grade of cancer and early detection literally saved my life.   Please take care of your girls and get them checked regularly.   Breasts can be reconstructed, your life cannot. 

7 comments:

  1. And the last line says it all. I'm pleased to read the process is moving along positively. So, so brave.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very glad you re doing as well as you are! I don't think it looks bad at all, actually, I can see a difference already! So that is very cool.

    You rock. Just FYI.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That does look awfully sore. Heal well and quickly my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How good and brave of you to share this. I can see why you decided and yes yes the result is already good. Yay yay yay. Now, one day at a time

    Love
    kj

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm glad you got through, even if it was rough. Hugs. This is such an incredible journey you are on and I feel blessed you're willing to share with us.

    I wonder - will you have any feeling in the reconstructed breasts? That would be wonderful if so and I agree with the previous commenter that the difference is already noticeable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After my mastectomy I had a lot of areas with no feeling at all. But after a year, all the numbness had receded and I could feel all my skin. So yes, I will be able to feel the skin on the reconstructed breasts, but not the sensual response I used to have. And I have no idea if I will feel the implants from the inside. I can feel the expanders sitting there,but hopefully the implants will be less noticeable to me.

      Delete
  6. As everyone has said, you already look so much better! I'm glad that this is becoming part of your healing. You are very brave to even attempt extra surgery, knowing what's in store. You continue to amaze me!

    xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete