Thursday, December 29, 2011

It Looks Worse Than it Feels


Warning:  I have included a picture of my new, boobless chest.   It is very bruised and might be disturbing/triggering to some.


Yesterday I had the drains removed. Holy effing ouch ! 

That's all I'm going to say about that.

Having the majority of surgical tape removed has given me a much greater range of motion but I have a long way to go before I will be able to raise my arms over my head.  Physical therapy a la Peachie begins today.

The pathology report was good.  No metastasises in the lymph nodes.  I still need to see the oncologist, but at least there is no immediate red flags. 

I can now shower!!!!  I can't reach up to wash my hair or reach down to shave my legs and I think it will eons before I can shave my pits.  Argggghh.    But hey, Rome wasn't built in  a day. 

The deep bruising close to my armpit had been all over my chest so this is a major improvement.   And perhaps most meaningful to me is that I have now been able to look my body and not go into extreme trigger mode.  As much as this visual brings me back to a day the had the shit kicked out of me, I have been able to stay in the present without flashbacks.   I consider this a major victory and a very real confirmation that I am healing in many, many ways.

I apparently also need to get back to the gym and work on those abs.  



9 comments:

  1. It does look like you are healing well. I am glad that you have been able to find greater range of motion, and no metastasies, and a sense of calm as you look at your body.

    Continued healing vibes, love, and light.

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  2. I must say that you are really doing well and am so glad. And I am especially glad that you are not triggering.

    I'm so glad, 8th, I really am.

    And like MS, continued love, light and all good things your way!

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  3. Amazing!!!

    You. Your body. The ways you are healing. The lab report. The (blessed) lack of flashbacks. Your grace in the face of everything.

    All of it.

    I am doing the Snoopy Dance of Joy down here--and eating cocoa-covered truffles in your honor! :-)

    Love,
    Doxy

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  4. Your strength, attiude and "can do" outlook is amazing. I am so happy and relieved that your healing is progressing positively.

    Please call if you need anything at all.

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  5. Thank you for being my mentor and friend and for showing how to face each challenge with such courage and grace.

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  6. Ouch. One day at a time - our bodies have a capacity to heal themselves with our help.

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  7. Snoopy dance here too. Glad that you are through the hard part and can focus on the healing. When my sister-in-law went through the boobless time she told me she wanted double-d's. So I knit some soft ones for her to use in her bra.

    Blessings for a healing year.

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  8. I await this surgery and I am really scared. Your honesty and courage is encouraging.

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    Replies
    1. Please contact me at 8thdayplanner at gmail dot com. I would be happy to chat with you about what you can expect and some tricks to make the recovery much easier. But trust me - the anticipation is 100 times worse than the actual procedure. And it truly did look worse than it felt.

      I am almost 3 years past the initial surgery and I continue to feel great and get stronger. I do hope to hear from you, but if not, good luck. I will be sending positive and healing energy.

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