Monday, April 25, 2011


You with the dark parts and the dark art

Whose dark heart once ripped apart

Gets smart and finally starts to grow

And the new flow where you roll shows soul

no control, and I know

Beyond your skin deep down below

There are shadowed places you don’t even go

Open wounds that won’t close

Upon the page within your prose

I want to know where it goes at night

When you’re lying in bed under moonlight

Highlights trace the dark side of your face

As you wait to sleep and waste away in the keep

Of the demons that dance and shriek

You writhe and squirm like a freak you twist and turn

In the burn of a fire that swallows you whole

You fight for the light and dream of letting go

In a ballroom ballet you cling to your madness

Completed by the love you feel for your sadness

The way it hurts you now gives you pleasure

And the ugliest memories you have come to treasure

Weight and measure, unbalanced and broken

Haunted head you remain unspoken instead to wed

The pale lover you find

In the comfort and familiarity of your own kind

Blind, unrefined,

Subtlety murdered by a killer who leaves no clues behind

Though I think we both are very aware

Hesitant to give it life, so less we speak and more we stare

Now the years have been butterfly wings

In a fast forward life that continues to sting

Like a dragon sized bee impaled through the chest

At best without guess I can see you’re a mess but you’re blessed

with a gift yet you fear a resolve

You fear a closure

You long for the attention yet you dread the exposure

Get composure and get on your feet

Do battle with Hell and die before you retreat

For the death you will endure save the victory you celebrate

You skate, take shape, then escape from the hate you’ve grown to love

You stand on the edge awaiting a shove

In your breathless fall as you plunge to the ground

Angels will catch you and softly … set you down.

~*~Shawn Catherine Fisher ~*~

A dark poem, I know. It is where I’m at these days. My therapist tells me that it will get worse before it gets better. I find that very scary. I do not want to get so low that I can’t get back up.

"Doing battle with Hell."   Win or lose, I need this to get better soon.


  1. "Angels will catch you and softly … set you down."

    You need to trust in all the angels around you. There are none who will let you go.

    I am holding you in my prayers.

    (And calling you as I hit the publish button)

  2. There is no easy path. You have to do the hard work if you want to get through this. No one can make it easy for you.

    You already know that.

    We are all here for you.

    Even in the deepest, darkest pain, we are here.

    You already know that too.

    Believe it.

  3. That you are weary and exhausted does not surprise me. Its hard, hard work. Its okay to acknowledge and validate your frustration. Don't judge yourself for a setback. Let it out, and then decide what's the first small step to take around the next thing standing in your way. And do let your angels support you.

  4. You will never be so low that you can't get back up. We won't let you. You are already breaking out of the prison of this trauma, every day you get closer to freedom.

    How is the hypnosis going? Have you tried it again? Did you experience another beautiful night of sleep?

    We're here for you, you know that. Keep moving through, keep breathing. Keep reaching out. We will catch you...

  5. there will ALWAYS be a hand to help you up - even if that hand is thousands of miles away, there are many who care about you.

    so much love and light as you walk through this with strength and grace. you can do it.