I had read a meme where folks posted random texts from their cell phones. Looking at mine there were mostly boring entries - Can you pick up milk? Can you take Peachie to work? Confirmations that kids have arrived safely at their destinations. And other similar, mundane dialogue needed to run a household. And then there were the conversations with my 18 year old daughter -
Beanie: - Can you get hot chocolate out?
Me: Out of what?
Beanie: Matt’s underwear.
Me: How did you spill hot chocolate on Matt’s underwear?
Beanie: I forgot my shorts so I wore his boxers for gym.
Me: sorry I asked.
Beanie: me 2
Beanie: i hate getting my period. i wish i had a dick so i wouldn’t have to go through this.
Me: they do have operations if you want to make a switch.
Beanie: no, i would be way too fascinated with playing with myself. i’d never get anything done.
Me: sharing violation
Beanie: can you get grape jelly out?
Me: What’s it on?
Beanie: my crotch.
Me: No, I meant what kind of material?
Beanie: How would I know that?
Me: Never mind.
Beanie: I spilt juice all over my uniform
Me: now there’s a surprise
Beanie: I need it right after school
Me: come home at lunch, I’ll take care of it.
Beanie: how long do cook my lunch for? (I had packed her lasagna)
Me: try 3 minutes and see if it’d hot. I am worried you are about to go to college and still can’t figure this stuff out.
Beanie: Ha ha. i know. i worry too : )
About 20 minutes later . . .
Beanie: can you get lasagna out of my white skirt?
Me: It’s what I live for.
Beanie: i love you too mom.
I am going to miss her so much when she’s gone . . .